Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Wax on, devil, wax on

I just waxed my upper lip, underarms, and lower legs. Once again, I tell myself it's the last time. It'll grow back in so light and thin that I won't feel uncomfortable about just leaving it, and then I'll still be able to be some semblance of an example to set for young girls whose utter undesirableness the world is otherwise bent on proving.

No, little woman, I'm telling you, really,
you don't have to remove that hair (though if you must, wax, don't shave),
you don't have to cover those spots on your skin with foundation (which, in most cases, would flush out with real food eaten in decent quantities and with a clear mind),
you don't have to hunch to hide your early breasts,
or hold your stomach muscles so constantly tight you forget how to breathe to hide your paunch, in vain (though a paunch might suggest tight psoas muscles, and firm stomach muscles will protect your back and you need a strong base and second chakra for balance in every part of your life)
you don't have to lie to me about those purple marks on your neck because I know damn well what hickeys are and how you get them,
you don't have to
make a rude joke about that girl to get that boy to like you to prove you're not a pathetic nerd,
wear tight pants to get all the boys to watch you walk to prove you're sexy,
get drunk and kiss a boy to get him to keep liking you to prove you're not disgusting,
have sex with a boy to get him to ask you to dinner to prove you're ...

You don't. Have. To do. Anything.
You're perfect.

Touch yourself
know yourself,
love yourself,
before you even daydream about that perfect first kiss, that moaning collapse onto the sheets, that arm around your waist, that look in his eye, that hand in yours...

I was refused at the blood donation center today because I had sex with someone that I knew for less than six months.

I will not judge. Anyone, least of all myself. I am as I am, but I can change, make myself as I want. I've done it before, I'll keep doing it til I shed my body. And perhaps even after.

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